These Broken Songs
by xxXEmmaCarstairsXxx
Summary: Cordelia Carstairs and James Herondale. Two very different Shadowhunters from very different backgrounds and families, drove together by fate. How could they ever end up together? (Set during TLH)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_London, 1895_

"Come along Cordelia, hurry up," snapped Colette Verlac.

10 year old Cordelia Carstairs tore her gaze away from the statue of Jonathan Shadowhunter and hurried to join her family as they ascended up the steps to the London Institute.

It was so rare that her parents took Cordelia and her brother Alastair on any sort of trips away from their home in Idris. Cordelia was determined to make this one count. For once, she could meet other Shadowhunters her age that weren't boys. Maybe, she hoped secretly, If I really like it here, I can convince Mother and Father to let me stay.

The Carstairs Family walked into the Institute and were immediately greeted by Consul Fairchild and her husband, Henry Branwell.

"Elias and Colette Carstairs," the Consul said, "Good to see you. Please enjoy yourself."

As the rest of her family took off their coats and handed them to the servant on hand, Cordelia looked around in amazement and didn't even take her coat off until Alastair elbowed her hard in the ribs.

"I'm going, I'm going," she muttered grumpily as she handed her blue winter coat to the servant who bowed slightly and rushed to hang up the four coats.

Elias Carstairs smiled slightly and linked his arm in his wife's.

"You two behave yourselves," he told Cordelia and Alastair with a smile and then he and Colette walked off, greeting friends as they went.

Alastair nudged Cordelia, "Cordy," he whispered, "I'm supposed to be watching you, but if you let me go off on my own, I'll pay you when we get home."

Cordelia, never one to turn down money, grinned, "Deal. But if Mother or Father asks why you aren't with me, I'm ratting you out."

Alastair rolled his eyes and dashed off into the crowd leaving Cordy alone, wondering what to do. Finally, she spotted a girl who looked maybe a little younger than she, but none the less, still relatively close to her age. She hurried over and sat down in the chair next to the girl.

Upon closer inspection, the girl seemed to be about eight and had plain brown hair and bright blue eyes. She was so intent on the book she was reading that she didn't notice Cordelia until she loudly cleared her throat.

"Oh, hello," said the younger girl, "Who are you?" Despite her upfront question, she did not seem at all put off by Cordelia's sudden arrival.

"Cordelia Carstairs," Cordelia announced, "You can call me Cordy."

The girl quietly closed her book and smiled at Cordy, "I'm Lucie Herondale."

"Why are you all by yourself?" Cordelia asked.

"I would ask you the same question," Lucie said with a smile, "I'm by myself because my brother is with all of his friends and he says I'm not old enough to be with them."

Cordelia nodded. Older brothers, she could understand, "My older brother is paying me to leave him alone."

Lucie giggled, "I bet he's with my brother. Do you want to spy on them?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Oh yes!" Cordelia exclaimed. This was by far the most exciting thing she had ever done.

Lucie nodded solemnly, "Okay. But we have to be quiet. In books, spies who are loud are always caught!" She got up and beckoned Cordelia to follow her. The two easily navigated through the crowds. Lucie ran quick as lightening through the many people, Cordelia dashing to keep up. At last, Lucie stopped. Cordelia crept after her as they peered in the door of another room.

The room was mostly empty, save for a few young Shadowhunters. Cordelia recognized Alastair with his icy blond hair.

"Do you see your brother?" Lucie whispered. She had pulled the hood of her cloak over her head so she looked more like a spy. Cordelia wished she had a hood and silently cursed her mother for always being so particular about Cordelia's wardrobe.

In response to Lucie's question Cordelia nodded, "Yes. He's the one with the really, really blond hair."

"I see him," Lucie replied, "Mine's the one with the messy black hair and creepy gold eyes."

The room was already dark which made it hard to pick out the black hair of Lucie's brother. That is until a figure turned around and noticed Cordy and Lucie.

"Hey! What are the little ones doing?"

Then Cordelia saw him. Another figure turned and Cordelia first noticed the gold eyes. Lucie hadn't been lying. They were a creepy gold. They illuminated the boy's entire face. And right now they were filled with rage.

"Lucie!" he called as he got up and started towards them. Lucie grabbed Cordelia's arm and tugged.

"We gotta go before they catch us!" she told Cordy, her eyes shining with excitement.

Cordelia didn't need to be told twice. Her and Lucie sprinted back into the main room, not bothering to dodge the party guests. Cordelia ran as fast as she could, following Lucie. As she was running, her hair fell out of its clasp. Her sweater came unbuttoned. And after a while, she kicked off her party shoes so she could run faster. She was so busy running that she didn't notice-

"Watch out!" squealed Lucie. But it was too late. Both girls crashed into the table, knocking down dishes and food and silverware with a loud clang. Lucie and Cordelia lay sprawled on the floor. A few seconds later, Lucie's brother ran in, flanked by Alastair and a boy with blond hair. They stopped in front of Lucie and Cordelia.

"LUCIE!" her brother shouted, "What were you doing, spying on us with your little friend?"

"James…" Lucie pleaded.

"I'm not little," Cordy announced proudly, "I'm ten!"

James Herondale turned his gaze to her. My, he's handsome, Cordelia thought. He looked about her age and his black hair and gold eyes looked even better up close.

"Who are you?" he asked angrily.

"Cordelia Carstairs," Cordelia whispered. By now, a crowd had gathered near the children.

Before James could reply, Colette Carstairs pushed her way through the crowd, followed by Elias Carstairs.

"Excuse me, pardon me, oh, my, so sorry," she muttered as she made her way towards her children.

"Cordelia Carstairs!" she exclaimed as she pulled Cordelia away from the wreckage, "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Her response was cut short by the voices of another couple, presumably Lucie and James's parents.

"Lucie, James, get over here," their mother said, a lot calmer than Colette was. Cordelia wondered if they got into trouble often and she was used to it.

"I'm so sorry," Colette told Tessa Herondale empathetically, "It won't happen again. Cordelia… is a bit of a mischief maker. We need to teach her better manners."

Tessa just smiled, "Oh, it's no problem honestly. I'm sure her manners are perfectly fine."

Cordelia decided that she liked Tessa.

Colette seemed a bit shocked and watched as Tessa offered a hand to Lucie who took it. Tessa proceeded to silently brush Lucie's cloak off.

"Elias, take care of Alastair," Colette muttered before dragging Cordelia off to get cleaned up.

"Why?" Colette asked Cordelia fifteen minutes later, after Cordy had changed and gotten cleaned up.

"Why what?" Cordelia asked innocently.

"Why must you always get yourself into trouble?"

"I was just having fun Mother. It was like having a friend for once. I'm always so lonely in Idris. I wish I could live here."

Colette's expression softened a fraction before tightening again, "You're disgracing the family name, that's what you're doing. Let's go back. I think you need to apologize to the Herondale's for disturbing their party." Cordelia hung her head and dutifully followed her mother back to the party.

She found the four Herondales in a corner talking together. She walked over.

"Why, it's your partner in crime Lucie!" Lucie's father, Will Herondale exclaimed.

Cordelia cracked a small smile, "I'm here to apologize," she muttered.

"Apologize? What for?" Tessa asked, sounding surprised.

"For disturbing your party," Cordelia said, in the same small voice.

Both Tessa and Will laughed.

"Oh, I made plenty more trouble than that when I was young," Will chuckled, "Tessa can vouch for that."

"I certainly can," Tessa laughed.

Cordelia stared, confused. She was not used to apologies going this well. Especially with major things like this. Tessa and Will seemed completely unbothered by her act. They didn't even seem to be the slightest bit mad at Lucie or James.

Cordelia sighed longingly, "I wish my parents were this nice."

Will and Tessa laughed some more.

"I'm sure they're just doing what they think is best for you." Tessa said.

Will squinted at her, "Who are your parents anyway?"

"Colette and Elias Carstairs," Cordelia told him.

Will paled slightly, but still smiled, "Ah. I used to be parabatai with your cousin."

Cordelia looked at him curiously, "I don't have any cousins."

Will opened his mouth to say more but Tessa cut him off.

"Why don't you bring your family over? I'd love to meet them." she said, looking strained.

"Okay!" Cordelia agreed cheerfully and left to get them. She returned two minutes later, followed by Colette, Elias, and Alastair.

Elias nodded formally at Will and Tessa, "We meet again."

Will nodded too, suddenly serious, "Hello Elias. Settled down I see."

Elias's eyes lingered on Lucie and James, "Same goes for you."

There is an awkward silence as both families, each very different, took each other in.

"Well," Tessa said brightly, breaking the silence, "Cordelia is a very sweet girl. You've raised her well."

Colette sniffed, "Yes, thank you."

"We would love to have her stay with us, here. Lucie is always looking for a playmate." Tessa said.

Elias and Colette exchanged a look.

"That's… kind of you," Colette squeaked out.

Lucie, on the other hand, looked thrilled, "Really? Oh Mr. and Mrs. Carstairs, do let Cordy stay with us!"

Elias sighed, "I suppose I'm going to have to give in. Colette, what do you think?"

Colette thought about arguing but quickly realized that almost everyone else was against her, "Oh, I suppose so. But Alastair… can he stay here too? He is such a good boy and he needs to be with his sister."

Tessa's smile never wavered, "Of course. We would be honored."

Cordelia smiled brightly and hugged each of her parents in turn, "Thank you! Thank you so much! When do I leave Idris?"

Elias laughed. Colette always favored Alastair, but Elias favored his daughter, Cordelia.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, it won't be for at least a month." Elias told Cordy.

But Cordelia wasn't paying attention to him. She was watching James, who hadn't said a thing this whole conversation. She watch as he slunk back into the shadows-literally. She couldn't even see his gold eyes.

I get to live with him, Cordelia thought, Everyday, I'll see him. Maybe someday, we can get married like Mother and Father.

"Well," Colette huffed, "I guess that's that. We will see you when we drop off Cordelia and Alastair in about a month. Pleasant talking to you. Come along Cordelia, Alastair."

The two children followed their mother away from the Herondales. Cordelia could only give Lucie a small regretful look before her mother pulled her away. Not that it mattered. In a month, she would see Lucie everyday.

Elias stayed behind for a final word with Will and Tessa.

"I think this will be better for her-for Cordelia," he told them, "In Idris, she is under the constant watch of Colette. I think Colette is much too hard on her. Poor girl."

Tessa shrugged, "I think she probably just wants everyone to notice your family. In her own way, she's trying to make you look good."

Elias gave a small smile, "Yes, I know. Just-watch out for her, okay? Don't let her get into too much trouble. She's a bit of a scapegrace for someone so small and despite what Colette says, Alastair won't look out for her in the slightest."

"Oh, we make no promises Mr. Carstairs," Will said, looking at Tessa. The couple chuckled. A confused Elias Carstairs left them and weaved his way through the crowd to find his wife and children.

"Why must you recruit every young girl you like to come live with us?" Will asked Tessa, exasperatedly.

"Oh, she's not just a young girl," Tessa said thoughtfully, "She's a rogue looking for a home."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_London, 1902_

Cordelia Carstairs sat on a brightly colored chair in the library of the London Institute while her parabatai, Lucie Herondale sat cross-legged on the floor, reading from _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz._

While Lucie read, Cordelia tossed her favorite double edged knife higher and higher into the air, catching it each time. Lucie payed no attention as Cordelia caught it and tossed it again. But this time when she went to catch it, it clattered to the floor.

Lucie jumped up.

"Ah!" Lucie screamed, "Cordy!"

Cordelia grinned wickedly, "It's the book. It's so boring that I was trying to stab it."

Lucie scowled, but there was no anger behind it. Cordelia always found it hard to take Lucie's anger seriously. Her face was so plain and innocent and her eyes so blue that it was almost impossible for her to look fierce.

"Aw, Lucie, you know I'm just fooling with you. I'm sure the book is great."

Lucie put her hands on her hips, "Well, since you weren't listening, maybe I should make you read it."

"Maybe you should." Cordelia looked at Lucie. Lucie appeared to be thinking about this but then, quite suddenly, she threw the book at Cordelia.

Cordelia rolled out of the way to avoid getting smacked by the heavy book, her dress coming up in the process.

"Cordelia!" Lucie screeched, "That's inappropriate!"

"What's inappropriate?" said a new voice. It was James Herondale, leaning against the frame of the door

He scanned the room and slowly, his eyes found Cordelia, who was lying on the floor, her dress up to her stomach, revealing her underwear. He raised his eyebrows at her. She blushed and hastily pulled her dress back down.

"That's what I thought," James said in his soft, threatening way. He turned to Lucie, "I came to tell you two that you are expected downstairs. We have guests."

"Who?" Lucie asked.

"Tatiana Blackthorn and her ward, Grace Cartwright. Apparently it's about Jesse. Again." James seemed rather annoyed.

Lucie sat straight up at Jesse's name, "Oh! I'll grab my journal." She got up and rushed from the room.

As a writer, Lucie rather enjoyed mysteries. But nothing intrigued her more than the mystery of Jesse Blackthorn. Some say he died at age 16. Some say he was still alive. Some even say that he died and then his mother brought him back to life. Naturally, this fascinated Lucie and every time someone said "Jesse" she was there, taking notes. Cordelia found it rather annoying, but slightly endearing.

James sighed as Lucie left, "I don't know Tatiana very well, but I can only imagine that she will not take well to a small girl taking notes on her son. Come along Cordelia."

_Oh_, Cordelia thought, _He wants to treat me like a dog, now does he?_ She gritted her teeth and followed him to the parlor room.

Sitting quite comfortably in a chair was a woman who Cordelia imagined was Tatiana Blackthorn. Next to her was a beautiful girl about Cordy's age. She had icy blond hair that curled out of her bun in a way that looked messy, yet radiant. Grace Cartwright.

_A look that I could have never pulled off,_ Cordelia thought ruefully as she stared at Tatiana's ward.

"Well," Tatiana simpered, "This must be James and…"

"Cordelia Carstairs," Tessa supplied from her seat next to Will. Tatiana ignored her and continued to glare expectantly at Cordelia. An awkward silence descended upon the room. Tessa looked rather outraged as did Will.

"I'm Cordelia Carstairs," Cordy supplied before a fight could break out and also to avoid all eyes falling on Lucie who was carefully sneaking into the room, journal in hand. Fortunately, no one noticed.

Tatiana wrinkled her face, "Oh. I've heard of you." She looked around as though expecting someone, "Where are the others? Matthew Fairchild and Alastair Carstairs? I was told they live here too."

"They do," Will told her patiently, "But you came quite suddenly and they were already running an errand- I needed to give something to my sister and they offered to go. However, that's beyond the point. What did you come here for?"

Tatiana sighed dramatically, "It is about my dear Jesse. He- He is alive. But I do not want the Clave to know. At least, not yet. I come here to ask you to… not tell anyone."

She went on. Cordelia looked around the room. Lucie was scribbling furiously in her journal. Tatiana had not noticed yet but Tessa kept shooting her looks. Grace was staring out the window, looking fashionably bored. And James… James was staring at Grace. Full out staring.

Cordelia felt a surge of heat rise into her stomach. She had had a crush on James since she was ten. Never had she ever imagined that he might notice a girl. He just didn't seem like that type of boy. She had always figured that would be Mathew's job, eventually. James was supposed to be the reclusive one.

Determined not to let it bother her, Cordelia turned back to the conversation. Tatiana was demanding that Jesse be kept in hiding at the Institute. Will and Tessa were adamantly refusing saying that they did not want to get involved. Suddenly, Cordelia had an idea.

"Ms. Blackthorn, you have two brothers! Jesse can live with one of them!" she said.

The three adults stared at her. Tatiana was the first to speak.

"Goodness no! My brothers are much too loyal to Consul Fairchild. They would turn both I and poor Jesse in right away!" she exclaimed.

"And we're not loyal to the Consul?" Will asked, his voice like steel, "Charlotte practically raised me. I am utterly loyal to her. Maybe you should just hide Jesse on your own. If you do not involve us anymore, I swear on the angel not to turn you in."

Tatiana huffed and stood up, gathering her skirts, "Well! Such cold hearts, refusing to protect an innocent boy. I suppose I should have expected as much from you William Herondale. Come along Grace. The carriage is waiting."

Grace rose slowly and followed Tatiana out of the parlor. Quite suddenly, James shot up and ran after them. Cordelia heard his voice echoing down the hallway.

"Miss Cartwright! Miss Cartwright! I never got to properly introduce myself…"

Cordelia glanced at Will and Tessa to see how they were handling this. They were whispering and Cordelia heard Tessa giggle.

Not in the mood to talk to anyone, Cordelia left the room and headed to her bedroom.

Cordelia's bedroom was _messy_. If her mother had been here, she would have fainted in the threshold. But, alas, Colette only saw her children at Christmas and for three weeks in the summer.

Cordy plopped down on her bed, which was something her mother would have also fainted at, and sighed deeply.

She had moved to London when she was ten. Seven years. Seven years and she still loved the city. Loved the people, loved the freedom, loved the wildness to it all. Her father had always told her that she was a free spirit. She couldn't agree more.

Lately though, Alastair, who had never exactly been very content in London, kept trying to convince her to go back to Idris with him. Cordelia was no fool. She knew why. In Idris, Alastair could be Colette's golden boy again. Here in London, he was overshadowed by Mathew and James. Besides, her parents wanted to keep their children together. Wherever Alastair went, Cordelia went, wherever Cordelia went, Alastair went. Alastair couldn't go back to Idris unless Cordelia did.

And that was only one of the things she was worried about. She was worried about Will and Tessa's involvement with Tatiana's secret and she was constantly worried Lucie and her obsession with Jesse Blackthorn.

With another sigh, Cordelia stood back up and left her room, heading to the training room. On her way there, she bumped into Matthew.

"Cordelia!" he said, straightening his jacket, "What a delight! Where are you off to?"

"The training room," she told him.

He frowned at her attire, "In a dress?"

"Yes," Cordelia said confidently, even though she had honestly completely forgotten to change, "I was just going to throw some knives."

"Well, that makes sense then," Matthew agreed cheerfully, "I was just looking for Jamie. Have you seen him?"

Cordelia's stomach turned, "Oh, um. Last I saw him…"

"Come on Cordy, spit it out," Matthew said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"He was following Tatiana's ward. Grace." Cordelia admitted.

"Grace Cartwright? That's serious. When he could do so much finer…" Matthew winked at Cordelia who managed not to blush, "But it's about time he got out there. Hopefully she doesn't break his heart." Matthew sounded upbeat and confident, but Cordelia could tell he had his doubts.

"You think she's going to break his heart? Don't you? Matthew?" Cordelia asked.

Matthew's smile faded, "Yes. I do. I guess I'll have to do my best to protect him." With a sigh, he trudged down the hallway away from Cordelia, who decided that she wasn't interested in training after all. She was about to hunker back into her room when James appeared from the shadows.

Cordelia nearly jumped out of her skin, "Oh! James! Matthew is looking for you." She backed out of his way and helpfully pointed the way Matthew had gone.

But James seemed very distracted, "Yes… I had better follow him."

Cordelia wanted to ask what had happened so badly that she let her curiosity get the best of her, "How did it go with Grace?"

James raised his eyebrows, "Fine. It went fine. I'm going on a carriage ride with her tomorrow. I'm going to pick her up before noon so we can have lunch. Why do you care, anyway?"

"Oh, I don't know. I guess it's just because you're like a brother to me James, I wanted to make sure you're happy." Cordelia did her best to fake a sisterly smile, even though it made her heart contract.

James must have believed her because he gave her a sideways grin, "Don't worry about me Cordelia. I'll be careful."

For a moment, Cordelia almost did feel like a sister, "I'm sure you will be. But- James? Just remember- hearts that are broken are not so easily fixed."

The smile on James's innocent face fell, "Of course. I'll remember."

Cordelia watched him leave in search of Matthew, feeling both protectiveness and jealousy and not feeling quite sure what to do about it.

**Sorry that was so short… it was kind of a filler chapter to lead up to the next one, which will take place about a year later. Chapter one was meant to outline the characters and the setting, chapter two was meant to outline the plot and the relationships between the characters. In case you couldn't tell, the main characters are James and Cordelia. :)**

**So long my readers**

**~Skye**


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